7 Things Sunday… The things we pass down… 10.05.2025

Hey good people!

Happy Sunday!

I hope you’re doing well and that the week treated you kindly.
Mamas, we are almost to another school break. How are you holding up? Are you planning a little getaway? Have you had the conversation with your spouse about what the break is going to look like? If not, now’s the time. Think about the crafts, the schedules, the chaos, and finding the calm. I’m in the swirl of planning and overthinking.

Today’s conversation is about, the things we were taught, and the ways those teachings still shape the way we show up for our children today.

1. Book Club/Therapy Session

This month at book club, we read The Ex Hex, a fun, witchy story about a woman casting a spell on her ex-boyfriend. But, as often happens with my group, the book was just a starting point. 

We found ourselves diving into childhood memories, our mothers, religion, and the deep messages that shaped how we see ourselves as women. And let me tell you… I was stunned.

2. Lies
I’m 37 years old, and somehow, this was the first time I heard of  purity culture. I had no idea how many of us were raised to believe that our bodies didn’t belong to us, that they were meant for our future husbands, that simply existing in them was a temptation.

I listened as women shared stories about youth pastors policing their clothes, about being told they were “making men stumble” just by wearing a tank top. And I was floored. The idea that so much of our worth and responsibility was tied to how other people responded to our bodies is both heartbreaking and infuriating.

3. Mothers

We often say women are the heartbeat of the family. But hearing these stories reminded me that not all mothers got it right.

 

Some of the same women tasked with protecting their daughters also shamed them. They enforced harmful rules without questioning why. They projected their own trauma or fears. And it made me think deeply about the example I want to set for my girls.

4. Rethinking Protection

I’ve always been careful about how my daughters dress. I tell myself it’s about protection, and in many ways, it is. But I’m realizing that the way I talk about those choices matters just as much as the choices themselves.

Instead of saying, “Don’t wear that, because XYZ,” I want to say, “Does this feel comfortable? Can you move freely? Does it feel like you?”

Because the truth is, if anyone is sexualizing children, they are the problem. Not the child. And I never want my daughters to carry shame for simply existing in their bodies.

5. Real love /Conditional Love

The conditional mindset shows up in parenting too. Some parents live vicariously through their kids, shaping them into versions of themselves that they never got to be. Others use control as a way to gain validation. It’s a lot to unpack.

But if there’s one thing I want my children to know, it’s this: My love isn’t conditional. My acceptance isn’t conditional. Their worth isn’t conditional.

 

6. A Safe Place to Land

 

One of the biggest takeaways from our book club conversation is the importance of creating a safe space for our kids. The world is already loud and complicated. If they don’t have a soft place to land at home, where will they go?

Our relationships with them matter more than any rule or expectation. If they can trust us with their questions, their confusion, their mistakes, then we’ve done something right.

 

7. My prayer

 

At the end of the day, we are all just trying. Trying to love our families. Trying to heal our wounds. Trying to make sense of what we were taught and decide what’s worth keeping.

So this week, I want to leave you with this:

I see you. I see the mamas, the aunties, the caregivers, the friends who show up. I see the people working through childhood trauma, healing from religious wounds, navigating messy relationships, and still choosing love.

I pray that whatever grief you carry is replaced with peace. I pray that joy, your version of joy, finds its way back to you and stays. And I pray that we all keep doing the work to raise the next generation differently: with more compassion, more freedom, and more grace.

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