Does your spouse complete you?...7.19.26

Hey, good people. How's it going?

Welcome back to In the South.

Today's topic is a little random, but it came from a conversation I was having with a friend about friendships, relationships, and marriage. Somewhere in the middle of that conversation, a question popped into my mind:

Does your spouse complete you?

What does that actually mean? What does it look like? What does it feel like?

And maybe an even bigger question...

Where did we, as women, learn that we're only half of a person until someone loves us?

I know people in their thirties, forties, and even their fifties who have built incredible lives. They're successful in their careers. They have strong friendships. They travel. They serve their communities. They have accomplished so many of the things they dreamed about.

Yet many of them still describe feeling like something is missing because they don't have someone to share life with.

Now, I don't think that feeling is wrong. I actually think it's probably a very common human desire. We were created for connection, and it's natural to long for companionship.

Where I struggle is when that longing becomes the belief that you're somehow not whole.

That's the part I don't understand.

How can someone be intelligent, accomplished, kind, capable, and deeply loved by friends and family, yet believe they aren't complete simply because they aren't married?

Maybe it's because I've been married for a long time, and I want to acknowledge that. I don't want this to come across as insensitive because I recognize my perspective is shaped by my own life.

But as a mom to daughters, this question keeps sitting heavy on my heart.

What are we teaching our girls?

Are we teaching them that they are enough exactly as they are?

Or are we unintentionally teaching them that one day, someone else will make them enough?

Because I don't want my girls growing up believing they're incomplete without a partner.

I don't want them believing that marriage is what validates their worth or that a relationship is what finally makes them whole.

In fact, I worry that believing you're incomplete makes you willing to accept things you should never have to accept.

History has shown us that women have settled, sacrificed, stayed too long, and endured things they never deserved because they believed being with someone was better than being whole by themselves.

We've come a long way.

Women have made incredible progress in so many areas of life. There is still work to do, but we've fought hard to get where we are.

So why would I want my daughters to believe that all of that still isn't enough unless someone chooses them?

I don't.

I want them to know that if they choose marriage, it should add to an already full life, not complete an empty one.

I want them to know they are already worthy.

Already enough.

Already whole.

A spouse should be a partner in your life, not the missing piece of your identity.

So I'm curious...What do you think?

Do you believe your spouse completes you?

Or do you believe two whole people come together to build something even greater?

Thats it!

Don't be shy. Let's be social.

-A