Loss...02.22.26

Hey good people, how’s it going?

Happy Sunday!

I hope everyone had a good week!

 Let me tell you about how book club wrecked me this week!  Yes, we talked about the book, but we also talked about REAL LIFE. I cried BIG tears and they were not on the agenda. We were having a conversation about family, but in particular grandparents and our love for them. The 3 of us are in different but singular spaces with grandparents and us sharing unlocked some deep feelings.

Ten years ago, in August, I lost someone I deeply cared about. That loss changed me. It touched every part of my life.But today, I realized something. I can now zoom out and look at that a little loss differently. Not as something good, because loss is never good, but as something that shaped me, stretched me, and revealed things to me I might never have seen otherwise.

That season was one of the clearest times in my life when I truly felt that God loved me and cared for me. And without that loss, I don’t know if I would have understood that in the same way. For that awareness, I am grateful.

It also reminded me how deeply grief affects us, especially when you care for someone who is sick, aging, or slowly leaving this world. It is a lived experience that many people don’t talk about openly, yet it leaves deep, tangible marks on your heart. It teaches you the importance of family. It teaches you the value of a village.

I remember the people who showed up for me at that funeral. The ones who stood close. The ones who held space. And I also recognize something about myself. I don’t always handle things in what people might call a normal way. Sometimes I can feel cold. Sometimes I withdraw. I realized that when I went through some of my hardest moments, I felt handled in a cold way.

So now, I do not always trust that people will show up for me when life gets heavy. Sometimes it feels safer to just carry it alone.

Here's my prayer:

God, I pray for anyone walking through loss right now, whether it is a loss already here, or one slowly approaching. I pray for their strength. I pray they do not feel weak for grieving. I pray they grieve honestly and fully. I pray they have support.

I pray they see the person they lost clearly and truthfully, because sometimes we hold on to versions of people that cloud our hearts and create distance between us and others.

God, I pray for our world, because we are living through so much loss. Help us not become numb. Help us stay tender. Thank you for our ability to empathize, to care, to feel, even when it is hard.

And God, in my weakest moments, help me still show love. Because real love, is my best. It is my nature to care. It is my nature to believe people. It is my nature to feel. And I know you call me to give my best to the world, even when I am not perfect.

So that is where my heart is today.

If you are grieving, if you are carrying something heavy, if you are loving someone through their final chapter, I am so sorry.  You processing grief does not make you weak. It makes you human.